Choose Us Page 18

  I glanced back at Taylor, who was still giving me a beaming smile. I loved that she was rooting for me even though she knew who I was and my relationship with Travis. I gave her a small smile back before turning my attention to Travis.

  “This last choice wasn’t easy. It really did keep me up all night.” He exhaled loudly, staring down at his hands.

  Wasn’t easy? Oh, this can’t be good.

  “I’ve come to know you, Nicki, quite well in the last few weeks. And Riles, well, you’re my best friend.” Travis closed his eyes taking a deep breath. “I think I’ve come up with a good plan that makes everyone happy, I just hope it doesn’t blow up in my face.”

  What the hell is he talking about?!

  “This last bracelet is going to Nicki,” Travis said barely above a whisper.

  I stared opened mouthed as Nicki sauntered up to Travis and planted a wet kiss on his lips. I blinked back the tears, barely registering that Travis had gently pushed Nicki back, before I was enveloped in Taylor’s arms.

  “Oh my God, I cannot believe he did that,” she whispered in my ear, hugging me tightly.

  I was thankful that Taylor was holding me—I felt like I was about to pass out. My chest physically started to hurt, making me reach between Taylor and myself to try and rub the pain away. Nope. Didn’t work. The pain only intensified.

  “Riley, are you okay?” Taylor held me at arm’s length eying me up and down.

  I stared at her trying to form some sort of word for how I felt. I’d never felt like this before. It felt like my entire world was ripped out from under me and my damn chest would not stop pounding.

  “Sweetie, I honestly thought he was going to pick you—you two are made for each other.” Taylor hugged me again.

  “Clearly not.” I choked out, willing myself not to cry. I would not leave this show like a blubbery mess.

  “He’s stupid. He’ll come around,” Taylor whispered to me, squeezing me tight before releasing me.

  “I don’t know if I can wait for that though,” I whispered back.

  Taylor just smiled at me sadly and nodded her head.

  “I hope he picks you.” My heart broke as I said those words to Taylor, giving her a small smile. I honestly did hope he picked her, now that I was out of the picture. As much as it killed me to say those words out loud, it would kill me more if he ended up with Nicki.

  Maybe, just maybe we can salvage our friendship if he picks Taylor. But if he choses Nicki at the end, it would be over completely.

  Taylor pulled me into a hug as Travis started walking our way. “Honestly, I don’t think he’s going to choose either of us,” she whispered in my ear. “I’m going to miss you so much. You have my number, use it okay?” She pulled away waiting for my response. I only got out a nod before Travis was next to us.

  “Taylor, I’m sorry, but I have to escort Riley to the car now,” Travis said gently.

  Taylor nodded and started walking away, flashing the ‘call me’ sign and mouthing it, causing me to laugh.

  “Riles, I…” Travis started, but I stormed away from him before he could finish. If he thought he was going to apologize for this crap, he was seriously out of his mind—which after picking Nicki, I was honestly considering he may very well be.

  “Riley wait up.” Travis jogged up to me trying to grab my hand.

  I jerked away from him and walked out the front door, letting it swing closed behind me and hoping it smacked Travis in the face.

  “Riley, I’m supposed to say goodbye. It’s part of the show. And I need to explain to you why I did this. It’s not what you think!” Travis said as I stood in the middle of the driveway glancing around for the car that would take me away.

  “Riles, they have to take your stuff out to the SUV before it’ll come around the front and pick you up. You still have about fifteen minutes left with me. Please, let me explain.” Travis tried again, but I refused to acknowledge him.

  I heard him huff before he stomped over to stand directly in front of me.

  “Damnit Doll, would you talk to me?” he yelled, his voice cracking slightly.

  “What do you want me to say Travis?” I shrugged. “Do you want me to say I’m glad I’m leaving because I hated this damn show? Did you want me to say I’m happy you kept Taylor? Did you want me to say that you broke my damn heart when you chose Nicki over me? Did you want me to say that looking at you right now is literally tearing me up inside? Because it’s all true. I do hate this show, I’m glad cameras aren’t going to be watching my every move anymore. I’m glad you decided to keep Taylor on, she’s a great girl. I’ve never had a broken heart before, but I’m pretty sure this is what it feels like. And I cannot look at you without seeing the past fifteen years of our friendship being completely destroyed by that one choice you made. You made your choice. I’m not it. I’m going home—without you. It is killing me to look at you right now and it will kill me if you touch me. I just want to be alone and wait for the car, so I can get as far away from you and this house as I possibly can.” I vaguely noticed the camera crew lined up around us getting this shot at every angle.

  Great…Like I really wanted this documented.

  “Riles, please.” Travis reached out to touch me, but I backed out of his reach just as an SUV came pulling up behind the camera crew.

  “Bye Travis,” I whispered as I ran to the SUV, quickly hopping into the backseat and buckling myself in. The vehicle started to pull away and I took one last look at Travis. He had dropped down on the front stoop, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He glanced up for a second when the SUV passed in front of him. It was enough for me to catch the pain etched on his face.

  Seeing him sitting like that with the defeated look as the SUV pulled out almost made me lose my composure, but, unsure if there was another camera in the car, I just leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to try and cleanse this night away.

  I opened my eyes and glanced around the car. No one was here but me and the driver.

  “There aren’t any cameras in here, are there?” I asked once we pulled out of the driveway.

  “No. There usually are, but we decided you’ve had enough cameras for a while.” I was shocked when it was Jim who responded to me. I leaned forward and caught his eye in the rear-view mirror.

  “I’m also going to assume you are not the person who usually drives the girls to the hotel.”

  “Riley, I didn’t know this was going to happen,” Jim explained softly.

  I quickly brushed away a tear that had managed to escape and roll down my cheek. “It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled.

  “Don’t say that Riley. It’s just you and me here. Last night after you left, I told Travis the game could be over. It was down to the final three, America is already rooting for you two so it just didn’t matter anymore. We have the ratings, it’s no big deal.” Jim glanced up in the mirror as he explained this to me. “He said he’d keep the show going until the contract said it was done.”

  “That’s Travis; he has to see things through.”

  “I don’t know what this is about. I don’t know what is running through his head here. It doesn’t make sense.” He was shaking his head like it was totally unbelievable to him too. “I’ve only known you two for a short time, but even I can see what the two of you have.”

  “Can we just please stop talking about this?” I asked quietly. I saw Jim nod his head then he reached over and turned the radio on.

  We pulled up in front of a simple hotel. Jim stopped at a side door and got out of the car, pulling my bags out of the trunk. I climbed out to help him.

  He pulled out a key card from his front pocket. “This is your room key, room 302. You are already checked in and don’t worry about checking out tomorrow, someone from the crew will come and do it for you. Since the show is currently airing, we need you to stay in your room or in the shadows. Tomorrow there will be a car to take you home. Once home you’ll
need to lay low for a few days. We just need to make sure word hasn’t gotten out that you were eliminated before the finale. Once you get the all clear, you can resume life as normal. Hang out with friends, go back to work…” Jim trailed off as I’m sure he remembered who I worked for. “I’m sorry Riley.”

  I held up my hand to stop him, “Don’t worry about it. I understand what I need to do. Thanks for the ride Jim.” I grabbed my bags from him and made my way to the side door. Sliding the key through the lock, I opened the door and propped it open with my leg as I gathered up my bags. I waved at Jim when he drove past and honked at me, before turning and heading up the stairs to my room for the night.

  I was glad it was late when I fell onto the bed of the hotel room. I just wanted to curl up and sleep away this horrible day. Tomorrow I would be in my own bed, completely alone and right now, I wasn’t sure if that made me happy or incredibly sad.

  I tossed my mail onto the counter and turned to put the kettle on the stove to boil water for my coffee. I noticed the corner of a gossip magazine peeking out from behind some bills. My curiosity got the better of me as I brushed the bills aside and saw the full cover of the magazine. Travis was smiling back at me, with pictures of Taylor, Nicki and me in little boxes under him. The headline of Freestyle Star Finds Love in an Unexpected Place was positioned above Travis’ head. They also had drawn a bunch of cutesy little hearts around my head, with BFF in one of the hearts.

  Stupid gossip rags.

  Of course they would play up the best friend part. From what I knew my elimination episode aired last week, with the finale airing tonight. The magazine had jumped the gun a little.

  I pushed the magazine into the trash as the kettle started to whistle. I poured the water into my French press filled with coffee grounds and placed the top on to let the coffee steep. Reaching into the cookie jar for one of the cookies I made the other day, I headed into the living room to lounge on the couch.

  Just as I sat down, I heard a knock on my door. Sighing, I set the cookie on the coffee table, stood, and walked slowly to the door. I glanced through the peep hole then leaned my head against the door, not ready for the conversation I was sure was about to take place. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.

  “Hi Kathy.” I held the door open for her to enter.

  She smiled as she walked by me, setting her purse on the bench by the door and dropping her sweater over the top of it.

  “Riley honey, how are you holding up?” She scooped me into a hug, rubbing my back like any mother would.

  “Me? Oh…I’m fine.” I backed away from the hug, turning my back on her and heading back to the couch so she couldn’t see the truth in my eyes.

  Because the truth was, I was anything but fine. My heart was still broken into a million pieces. The whole world had seen it happen last week on TV. And I hadn’t spoken to my best friend in two months, aside from a few generic “Hi, how are you?” texts, which I never replied to. In fact, the last time I’d heard his voice was when I turned my back on him and ran to the SUV after he eliminated me on the show. I could still see his anguished look while he sat on the stoop outside the house after I got into the vehicle without letting him explain things.

  Like he could have explained anything anyway.

  But the worst part was whenever I closed my eyes, I could see Nicki after my elimination planting a kiss on him and giggling and smirking at me like she’d just won. It made me sick to my stomach every time.

  So yeah, I was anything but fine. But I wasn’t about to let Travis’ mom know that. I plopped down on the couch, scooping the cookie off the table and stuffing it in my mouth before Kathy asked me something else. I glanced up at her and immediately knew it was the wrong move. Her eyes were full of sadness and pain of her own.

  “Sweetie, I know you better than that.” She sat right next to me, patting my knee.

  Just that simple comment and touch caused tears to form in my eyes. I tried to blink them back, but failed and one rolled down my cheek.

  “Oh Riley.” Kathy wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into another hug rubbing her hands across my back.

  This time I embraced the hug and buried my head in her shoulder, letting the sobs out that I had been holding in for the past two months. My whole body shook as I cried. I tried to keep the sobs from escaping my mouth by clenching my lips together, but a few would loudly escape, causing me to cry that much harder.

  I cried for a while, letting Kathy rub my back and whisper calming words into my ear. Finally I took a deep breath and released it slowly before sitting up away from Kathy. She handed me a few tissues from the box behind the couch. I tried to smile at her and dabbed at my eyes and nose until I was sure I wasn’t leaking anymore. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face, leaning against the sink and looking into the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. My face was all red and splotchy. My lips had teeth marks across them from trying to hold in my sobs. And water was dripping off my chin onto my shirt.

  Yeah, I looked awesome.

  I turned the cold water on and splashed my face again, before grabbing a towel and patting it dry. I headed to my room and quickly changed into a dry shirt before heading back to Kathy.

  I paused in the kitchen and glanced at the clock. Only ten minutes had passed since I let Kathy in.

  It definitely felt longer than that.

  I saw my French press sitting on the counter. “Would you like some coffee?” I called to Kathy, my voice rough from the crying.

  “If you want to make some, I wouldn’t turn it down,” Kathy replied, I could tell it was with a smile. That woman never turned down the offer of coffee.

  “I had some brewing before you got here. It’s still warm.” I started to pour coffee into two mugs I grabbed from the cupboard. “Do you still take it with a splash of cream?”

  “For the last thirty years!” She laughed from the living room.

  I smiled and added a small amount of cream to her mug and a large glug to mine. I placed the mugs on a tray and grabbed a few more cookies from the jar, setting them on a small plate on the tray before carrying it out to the living room. I placed the tray on the coffee table and handed Kathy her coffee before taking mine and settling onto the couch next to her.

  “So, what brings you here?” I asked, sipping my coffee.

  It wasn’t unusual for Kathy to come to my place out of the blue, but I hadn’t heard from her since Travis eliminated me from the show. I didn’t really think anything of it, since she was his mom and all, and if she was going to pick sides it was obviously going to be Travis’.

  She took a sip of her coffee before answering. “I think it’s about time you and Travis sit down and talk.”

  I shook my head, not sure I heard her right. “Why on Earth would I do that? You know what he did.”

  “I know, my son is a dumbass. But the show is over now, the finale is tonight, I’d like for you to come over to our place and watch it.”

  I could only stare at her. Was she out of her mind? Why would I subject myself to that kind of pain? I haven’t watched any of the episodes on TV because I knew they would break my heart all over again. It was just too painful. I mean, not only had I lost my best friend, but I also lost the guy I was most definitely in love with.

  “Is Travis going to be there?” It came out barely above a whisper.

  Kathy nodded, staring at me over the rim of her coffee mug.

  “And the girl he picked?” I choked out. Really, why would she do this to me? Was she secretly that heartless?

  “Please come. You’re family and we’d like you to be there.” She avoided my question. Not a good sign.

  “Does Travis want me there?” He kicked me off the show after all, and hadn’t talked to me since even though I was well aware he had his phone with him and could have used it at any time, especially since the show had finished filming a little less than two months ago and he’d been home ever since. It was like I had
been excommunicated from their family.

  “I’m not sure he’s completely aware of the plan, but I do know he wouldn’t object to it.” She finished her coffee and set the mug back on the tray staring intently at me.

  “I don’t know… I’ll have to think about it.” My eyes pleaded with her to just leave it at that.

  “Okay, we’ll be having dinner at five with the showing after.” She smiled at me. “I’d really like for you to be there.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I muttered again, hoping this was the end of the discussion.

  She settled back into the couch, “So what have you been doing for the last few weeks?”

  She was downplaying it. She knew very well it had been two months since I was eliminated. Two months since I last spoke to Travis. Two months since she told me I should take a break from my job. What have I been doing? Going crazy out of my mind with boredom. I wanted my job back so I could at least do something with my days…and I could see Travis again.

  “Oh, nothing too exciting. Lots of time on my hands with nothing exciting to do,” I said, willing her to say something, anything about going back to work.

  “Yes, I suppose you do have a lot of time on your hands. I think it’s about time you come back to work.”

  “Thank goodness!” I sighed, “I’ve been going out of my mind trying to figure out who was stepping in as Travis’ assistant. Did they field phone calls right, did they know the ins and outs of his day, did they know how he takes his coffee in the morning, and that you’re not allowed to talk to him until he gets at least half of it in him?” I was rambling, I knew it, but I was excited at the idea of going back to work, even if it meant seeing Travis and dealing with painful memories. I guess I was ready to move forward, I missed my best friend and I wanted my job back. I looked up at Kathy who was staring at me smiling.

  “Only you would know how to take care of my son so well,” she said, standing. “I have to get going now to prepare dinner for tonight, are you coming over?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there,” I said, resigned to the fact that it needed to be done—I needed to rip the band-aid off and see Travis again, even if this was going to be the most painful way possible.